Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
