U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
