I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
