I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
