and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
