Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I want to fling myself into the sun
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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