We named our party play list daddy issues
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize