i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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