Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Im part way to drunk.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize
