we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
