if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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