Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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