clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
