she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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