I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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