All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
my nose is crying tears of wow.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Randomize
