This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
