one two three fourrrrnication!
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
