whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize