I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
