My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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