Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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