Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
