I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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