Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
