Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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