So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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