wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
