And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
