I wanna bring you to show and tell
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
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