no you cant smoke seaweed
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
