My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
