He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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