i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
