Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
