There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
