lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Randomize
