pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
