sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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