We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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