There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
