Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
