Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
