So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
