the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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