you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize