I wish I could teleport
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
