Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
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