Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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