Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
