yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
