I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Four minutes until I can fart!
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
