Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
