how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
