you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
