So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
