Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
