Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
