I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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