wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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