Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
