He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
