I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
